You know how you have those friends that you share so many experiences with over the years, and even sometimes can let your contact slip a little and still pick right back up? I have one of those dear friends, Jennifer. We met through mutual friends in high school and have been close friends for more than 15 years. We went to football games, rival universities, Halloween on Franklin Street. We've had too much to drink together, we made a blast out of each other's bachelorette parties. I was her maid of honor, she was mine. I married a die hard Yankees fan, she married a die hard Red Sox fan. The list goes on, we've shared a lot over the years. The experience I never wanted to share with her was the loss of a parent shortly after having an infant.
My dad passed away suddenly when Nicholas was only 2 months old. Seeing all your dreams of a wonderful grandfather-grandson relationship disappear before it could hardly take off was heartbreaking. It's something that stays with you even after you come to terms with it.
Unfortunately, now Jennifer has the same experience in her life. Her mother passed away unexpectedly after a brief illness. Her son Kyle is 4 months old. Jennifer's mom was one of the best. She and her husband opened their home to all of Jennifer's friends regularly. We had parties after football games, and slumber parties. They always provided for us and made sure we had a good time and were safe. I remember going on a beach trip where I felt like more than just one of Jennifer's friends, but more like a family member. As we grew up and went off to college and became adults, her mom would still ask me how I was doing and how my family was doing. And she genuinely meant it and cared.
So this is where I am, staying at my mom's house so I can go to the funeral of my best friend's mom tomorrow. The drive from Raleigh to W-S gave me time to reflect on my experience and gave me some strength to support Jennifer through this. I hope I can maintain this perspective. If it's anything like our phone conversation on Saturday, I will lose it the moment I see her.
2 comments:
Oh no-- what a terrible loss for her. I'm so glad she has you to lean on and fall apart with. That's what matters in those days/weeks/months after losing a parent. Love to both of you.
You didn't want her to join that club with you, but now that she has, she'll know that she can let out those raw emotions with you, knowing that you understand. I don't know what I would have done without my friends who'd also lost husbands. You'll be a wonderful help to her, but it'll open up some of your own painful wounds. A big hug for you, Sweetie.
-WSM
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