I know it's only July but this has been on my mind recently - do you buy toys throughout the year or holdout to Christmas? We enjoy buying/making gifts for family and obviously, family being the focus of the holiday season. If distance were not such an issue we'd spend loads of time with extended family too. Last year, Nicholas was aware of the holiday because it was discussed at school. We hadn't decided where Santa Claus would fit in for us, but the outside world took care of it and introduced him. He received a couple gifts from Santa - the items he truly wanted and described with great detail and passion. We bought a few other things from "us". In the end, a few gifts we purchased were hidden away and saved for his birthday. We wanted him to treasure each gift from us and from other family and friends.
Nicholas has taken to asking for toys and books throughout the year, not excessively by any means. It's the typical boy stuff like a Batman costume, Transformers toy. He asked twice this week if Santa had come. I have no idea what drove him to think Santa was coming in July unless it came up at school. We have held strong thus far. Really the only new stuff is the occasional Happy Meal or cereal box toy. We did buy a croquet set but that was more of a family purchase even though he was the one asking.
The point I am driving at is, why are we are staying true to the commercialism of Christmas? Do I have to feel obligated to only give my children gifts at Christmas and their birthdays? Is it possible to buy a toy during the year and still enforce the concept that you don't get everything you want when you want it? There is a fine line between making our children happy and spoiling them. But how do we find that line? Especially with the current budget crises that everyone is feeling, I think spreading things out makes more sense than overindulging children for a holiday that is supposed to mean more than presents. We should be the ones who determine when our children can get new things (outside of the necessities like underwear, shoes, and socks). Although Nicholas can get pretty stoked over a new pack of underwear.
I honestly cannot remember how my parents handled requests for new toys during the year. It must not have been emotionally traumatizing in the long term, and I don't think I am spoiled. I may have acted spoiled as a child, but some of that may have been a personality defect that I have conquered. Do any of you remember what your parents did? Or have any of the experienced parents thought this over before? What was your strategy?
1 comment:
When she was an only child, I bought gifts for Erica whenever I saw something appropriate AND had money, so Christmas gift-giving was pretty low-key. Then Erica acquired 3 siblings in one fell swoop(!), and I suddenly felt the need to try to keep things relatively equal, so as not to seem to be playing favorites. It was a lot easier to do this twice a year (Christmas and the birthday season) than to try to keep some kind of running total (and remind any score keepers in the family of their recent gifts). If I found something "just right" for one of you while on a trip, I either had to find 3 more "just right" things or save that one till Christmas. (Try finding "just right" things for 3 more kids in an aiport gift shop while you're waiting for your connecting flight!)
With only two, you can more easily do gift giving at other times of the year than Christmas and keep things relatively even. You can come up with "excuses" (5th Tuesday? Fall leaf-raking?) if you feel the need, and it spreads out the fun. Christmas can be fun without being an orgy of material indulgence.
And as long as you concentrate on the fun of giving, rather than some kind of entitlement, your kids will get with the spirit (we hope!)
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